I’m a pretty confrontational arguer. Frankly, I’m often an ass. But why do I have to be such an ass? Well, I honestly don’t mean to be, but sometimes I just don’t care enough to not be an ass. I try. Sometimes, anyway.
I argue about things because finding the truth is primarily a moral issue for me, and I think it should be for almost anyone else as well. If you respect the autonomy of the individual, and you respect that they have moral responsibilities with their decisions, then you are under moral obligation to argue with them about things that affect their decision if you disagree with them. If they don’t want the argument, I’ll back off. I just can’t make that decision FOR THEM in advance. It’s related to an old SCOTUS saying about free speech: it’s the right to hear other people you disagree with. And that also means that I’m required to listen to people that infuriate me (though mostly, I think it’s cute).
This is what a functioning public square is supposed to look like.